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Both Japan and China are fascinating places to visit. Culturally the two countries have alot in common. But after a recent visit to China, I also noticed they suffer from similar faults. Here I propose some solutions.
No more green tea Green tea has two huge flaws. Firstly, it’s green. Secondly, it’s not very nice. Black tea with semi-skimmed milk please.
Stop slurping In Japan and China adults slurp at the dinner table. I can not believe they get away with it. The ‘I’m just showing my appreciation for the food’ excuse did not work in my house, and there is no reason it should here.
Use the alphabet In a Japanese newspaper you might find 2,000 different Chinese characters. A Chinese newspaper may contain twice as many. Look at the complexity of these characters. And the so called pictograms are no better. They are terribly inaccurate. Have you ever seen a woman who looks like this 女, or a car like this 車? My 6 year old niece could do better.Please stop drawing and write sensibly.
Say sorry sometimes The Japanese apologise for eveything, the Chinese do not apologise for anything. While there never seems to be a moment in Japan when a sumimasen is not appropriate, in China, without resorting to violence, a dui bu qi is never suitable. I found China particularly frustrating as dui bu qi was the only phrase I had learnt.
Undress the dogs Far too many pet owners in China and Japan put clothes on their pet dogs. It has to stop. Dogs have hair. I want to see them naked.
Foul in moderation Chinese footballers do nothing but foul. Japanese players seem incapable of commiting an offence. When they play each other, it’s painful to watch. See this clip for evidence. It’s a shame. Done appropriately, like when your opponent is better and faster than you, fouling is an integral part of the beautiful game.